Music Monday: My Least Favorite Christmas Songs

These are the songs I dread hearing every year. And yes, I heard them this season before writing this post, unfortunately.

1. I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas

First of all, her voice drives me up the wall. There are very few songs I like sung by children or with strong vibrato. This has both.

Then she knocks Tinker Toys. Nope. Not standing for that. I loved building toys, despite the fact I was terrible at building things.

Hippos also are not friendly creatures. The only hippos you should be asking for are Hungry Hungry Hippos, of the plastic variety.

2. The Christmas Shoes

This is the most depressing Christmas song.

Some people find it meaningful and beautiful. This is what I hear:
--They procrastinated on buying her a gift, so she might die before you get back
--Give me money!
--This has been a depressing holiday season. . . let’s spread it around!

In tracking down the above video, I just learned that it’s also a movie. I believe a movie or written story of this could be very moving or profound, but somehow I doubt it.

Here, listen to Patton Oswalt discussing why it’s so bothersome:

I stumbled upon this today and I can’t decide whether to hate it or love it.

This is a song from 2004 that sounds like stereotypical 90s Euro pop—weird, right? I cannot deny my love of the 90s Euro pop scene, but still, the lyrics are worse than most.

Help me decide!
Is this so bad it’s good, or just plain terrible?

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